Law of Least Effort is a spiritual law that suggests one should simply ask rather than seek. This is contrary to natural instinct to create, protect and build to ensure one’s safety and survival. There are simple lessons to help achieve living this spiritual law. Deepak Chopra named this law in The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success; however, one does not have to be a spiritual guru to apply them.
In my own life, the Law of Least Effort has shown me that when you do not expect, you grow. How I have adapted this idea is in the following lessons:
- You do not have to fix that relationship
- You do not have to solve every problem
- You do not have to owe anyone anything
- You do not have to win every battle
- You do not have to succeed at every attempt.
- You do not have to try to get people to understand you
Simple, clean, and honest: Do You.
Most people look at their relationships and, in a codependent manner, believe that they can change one another’s behavior. They fear losing that person. They fear if they hold someone accountable then that person will disappear. This is a fear not worth running from.If someone is willing to walk out of the door, you must be willing to let them. That is a mutual decision. This is also an assertion of boundaries. If someone crosses a line, you have a right to close the door.
Solving problems is something that we do to survive and thrive; however, this leads us to a misunderstanding. Any solution becomes “the solution.” Impulse takes over. Instead of waiting for the right solution, we grab onto the first knot in any rope thrown down to us. This rope may lead us to a happy ending or it may not. Is it the right rope? Is that knot truly secure? Before evaluating this, we simply grab on. Let the solution come to you. Sometimes, it makes things worse when we try. There is no try, only do or do not. Forcing solutions will only create tension. Allowing solutions will create release.
You do not owe anyone anything. This is breaking societal cues to live by on a daily basis but taking a look at relationships that are not superficial, you must put yourself first. That means if others are pushing your boundaries, expecting you to do something because it pleases them and if you are not being treated mutually right, what do you owe them? Evaluate your relationships. People pleasers have this idea that they owe everyone something when that owing is undeserved. Who deserves you? Unfortunately, we put our own interests last to serve someone else. But if someone has hurt you, true healing and change can only come from separation. Let go to let grow. People have patterns. Even if they appear to be growing, you must recognize that they also have a tendency to backslide. Are you going to blame them each time? Or attempt to prepare in advance and understand that you do not need them to change? You need to let go.
You do not have to win every battle. But you have to win the war! This is your life so you have to live it. Thriving and succeeding is how you win the war. Holding to strong standards is how you win the war. Letting go, asserting boundaries and staying true to yourself is how you win the war. Trying to be right, or more so trying to prove that you are right in every battle, will only create a greater defense. Get into offense mode. Be proactive not reactive. Your cross to bear in life is educating others on who you are and what you need. Prepare in advance. It may be someone else’s fault for a circumstance or struggle in your life; however, it is your responsibility to change it. You deserve compassion but not self pity. Trying to control how others treat you will only end up causing you to win the battle but lose the war.
You do not have to succeed at every attempt. We fear failure and take it as a reflection upon ourselves. This could not be farther from the truth. Giving it your best and taking the time to digest what worked and what did not work, as well as why, is true success. Not letting self pity stop you is greater success. Steve Jobs once gave a commencement speech, “Connect the Dots.” He pointed out how every experience in his life led him to connect those as dots to create something greater than what he had known or intended. Something in you knows who you want to be. Follow your passions. The destination focus can distract us from the detours that may lead us to better roads.
You do not have to get others to understand you or your goals. If you find yourself at that place, assert the boundary that it is not their job to guide you. They can give feedback but they must accept if you choose your own way. This does not mean that you should close yourself off from feedback. Feedback, right or wrong, and the opportunity to express your response can be strengthening. Let your actions and success prove your ideas are correct. Focus on how you will feel when you do so. This is called surrender.
Everything changes when you surrender. This means to not give in to momentary feelings, temporary solutions or personal pride. Fulfill the Law of Least Effort by allowing things to be, rather than creating judgments on what is happening. This will create greater self love and awareness as well as acceptance as to what appears.